Parent & caregiver guide
Identity, belonging, race, and being the only one in the room
Kids who feel different — because of race, culture, faith, disability, body, or identity — often spend the school day managing how they're perceived. That constant monitoring is exhausting and can look like withdrawal or attitude at home. Being believed at home is protective; kids who feel affirmed by one adult do measurably better.
Save this guide or share it with a teacher, counselor, or co-parent.
What to look for
Common signs
- Comments about being "the only one" or wishing they looked different
- Code-switching that leaves them drained after school
- Pulling away from their culture, faith, or family traditions
- Reports of comments from peers or staff they've been told to ignore
Do this first
Practical strategies to try today
- 01
Believe them the first time. Don't lead with "are you sure they meant it that way?"
- 02
Name it plainly: "That was racist and it wasn't your fault" — accuracy is relieving.
- 03
Find at least one mirror: a mentor, group, or space where they are the majority.
- 04
Document incidents in writing to the school and ask what the response will be.
- 05
Point toward providers who share their background — representation lowers dropout from therapy.
How to bring it up
Conversation starters
"Is there anywhere at school where you feel fully yourself?"
"Has anyone said something to you that stuck with you?"
"Who's in your corner there?"
Print & use tonight
Worksheets and checklists
Watch
Recommended videos
Where to turn
Community resources
Don't wait
When to seek additional support
- Bullying or slurs the school won't address
- Withdrawal, hopelessness, or shame about who they are
- Any self-harm or suicidal talk — call or text 988
Still not sure what your child needs? Care Solutions offers free, non-clinical navigation for families — tell us what's going on and we'll help you find the next step.